


my very own nightmare

by lesamoreuxvi



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heavy Angst, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Phantom Thieves of Hearts as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26816443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesamoreuxvi/pseuds/lesamoreuxvi
Summary: 'Futaba’s eyes were closed shut and her heart was beating harder than ever before. She slowly opened her eyes and her gaze was only met with more darkness. Before she was able to ask herself what was going on, a distinct voice from her dark memories made itself heard.“She’ll pay for that! A brat like her doesn’t even deserve what she has right now!”'
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Sakura Futaba, Kurusu Akira & Sakura Futaba, Persona 5 Protagonist & Sakura Futaba, Sakura Futaba & The Phantom Thieves of Hearts
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	my very own nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this when i was 14 so it's very bad and cringy, but i liked the resolution so i decided to post it  
> feel free to roast 14 year old me  
> pls know there is a graphic depiction of child abuse and a panic attack. there is also a mention of alcohol. do not read if that makes you uncomfortable, stay safe <3

“You’re surrounded! One powerful Shadow!”

Futaba’s voice broke through the Shadow’s screams, reaching the party’s minds. Joker silently nodded, more to himself, and summoned Arsene. To his sides, Fox, Panther and Noir were getting into their fighting positions, readying themselves to land their hits.

Oracle’s Necronomicon was hovering above the fight. Studying. Analyzing. Finding weaknesses. Figuring out which skill the Shadows were going to cast. It might have seemed pretty easy from an outsider’s perspective, but being the Phantom Thieves’ support was a full-time job.

But no matter how hard it was, Futaba enjoyed having a purpose in a fight. Of course, being the gamer she is, most of the commands were pretty easy to get the hang of, even though she never imagined herself as the support in a team.

From down below, Joker signaled her for help. “Oracle!”

Futaba smirked and gripped Necronomicom’s driving handle with one hand, as to redirect herself closer, and began tapping frantically on her main screen. She couldn’t help but wonder how the party was already low on energy, even though the fight had just started.

‘No worries!’ she said, her Persona busting a purple color above the party’s heads. She could sense power coming back to them, and seeing their heads rise back up let her know that she had done a good job.

Their thanks were interrupted by the Shadow’s screams, as it came forward, launching itself over the Thieves. Multiple screams could be heard from below as Futaba grabbed the handle in a panic, in an attempt to fly herself away from the danger. Necronomicon’s gargoyle faintly touched the roof of Mementos before the girl could stop. Futaba exhaled and began running some diagnostics to see if there was any damage to the outside of the Persona. In between screens, she saw her teammates’ stats.

“Is everyone okay? Your health is low. Can someone heal?”

Panther’s voice came between groans. “Oracle… Fox and Joker are down. I think Noir is despairing? We need help…”

_ Despair? _ Futaba thought to herself. This Shadow was not known to be able to cast Despair. She began tapping furiously at her screens with both hands, analyzing and trying to heal the party at the same time. 

“Help is on the way!” she said loudly, even though her only responses were a few groans and Noir’s whimpers.

“Oracle,” Fox’s voice came through, “look out!”

Futaba looked up from her screens and barely had time to register a huge arrow hitting her Persona and piercing the exterior of the spaceship. The girl screamed as she noticed the sudden change in height. “Everyone look out! I’m losing altitude!”

Necronomicon was falling.

She was crashing and none of her screens or her command panel could help her.

Futaba braced for impact and just before hitting the ground, the spaceship transformed in the goggles on top of her head. She was left without anything to break her fall against the ground.

She covered her head with her arms in means of protection, but it did little to no good. The redhead hit the floor with a thump and there she stayed, unable to get up, call Necronomicon out or shout for help. She closed her eyes, falling away from consciousness, until she felt a presence above her. Futaba opened one eye in a lazy manner, only to see the giant Shadow casting something on her.

A dark aura surrounded her body. It was warm and didn’t feel like something bad until she felt all control slip away.

Futaba’s eyes were closed shut and her heart was beating harder than ever before. She slowly opened her eyes and her gaze was only met with more darkness. Before she was able to ask herself what was going on, a distinct voice from her dark memories made itself heard.

“She’ll pay for that! A brat like her doesn’t even deserve what she has right now!”

No.

That’s impossible.

The girl suddenly felt her breathing become significantly heavier. Her eyes widened in terror as she recognized the voice she hadn’t heard in some time. It still made her body freeze and her mind crumble to ash.

Futaba was back there, back to that time.

She curled herself up as sweat began to form on her brow from the stress of knowing what was coming. Futaba did what she always did. 

She got up, failed to take a deep breath and frantically looked around the dark room, head darting from side to side. 

Where could she hide? She couldn’t-

There was nowhere.

It’s over it’s over it’s over she’s not going to make it this time it was a dream it was all a dream

A whimper escaped her lips and she covered her mouth with a trembling hand.

Futaba had to stay silent, otherwise she would make it worse, she rationalized. 

She crawled to her self-made ‘bed’ and curled on top, lowering her head to her knees.

She put her hands around herself and, probably without being aware, began rocking back and forth, trying with all her might to stay silent, she had to stay silent, silent, silent-

The door opened revealing the outline of a burly man, his shadow cast down in front of her. Futaba couldn’t help the helpless sounds that she made when he spoke.

“Futaba!” His words swam in her head and repeated on a loop. “You thought you could hide forever?”

She didn’t dare look up, but she would never forget the tone of his angry voice or the foul odor of alcohol that his clothes reeked of. It was her mother’s brother, Youji Isshiki.

There was no way this was real. He was gone, they’d changed his heart. She had to breathe deeply to calm her nerves and her shaking at least by a bit, so she could comprehend what was happening.

The shock of the slap came in suddenly, along with a scream. Futaba felt her heart rate go berserk and tried to look up, only to see her uncle shouting at her. The words were barely audible, like they were coming from far, far away. 

Her uncle noticed her apathy and fixated stare on him, and delivered a quick blow to Futaba’s stomach with his foot. She broke out of her stupor and a small plea came out.

“Stop…” Futaba wheezed.

In her uncle’s mind, her small pleadings had always been considered ‘backtalk’, which was just inacceptable.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!” the man shouted. “You stupid brat! All you do is cry. You don’t deserve what you have, what I’m giving you!”

It isn’t true, Futaba tried telling herself.

Futaba, now in a fetal position, let a few stray tears fall out of her eyes. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t feel her legs, she couldn’t defend herself against the upcoming hits.

“I could leave you on the streets!”

As he finished delivering the blows, he stood back, leaning on one of the bare walls of the room. No one could prepare Futaba for the cruelty of the finishing blow, though.

“No wonder Wakaba tried doing the same thing.”

Tears started pouring out, wetting her cheeks and her orange hair. It wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t her fault…

With that, he exited the room. Futaba wailed on the cold ground, struggling for breath. She wanted this to be over. There was no way she could take it anymore. With her heart beating like a drum, Futaba curled back and closed her eyes, trying to escape the mental and physical pain.

Nothing could explain the loneliness she felt in that very moment.

She knew how these days worked.

Help wasn’t on the way. No one was coming to rescue her from her tomb.

When Futaba came to, she felt nothing besides a hand shaking hers. The panic still in her heart, she shook it off, screaming and backing off until her back hit a wall. There, she went back in her position, hands over ears, repeating the same pleas for help over and over again in between gasps of air.

“No, no, no, no, no- g’away fromme-”

Futaba felt a light touch, another touch, this one warm and calming. A hand against hers, she guessed. Shaking her gently. Then, a body against hers, hugging her. As her breathing eased and her shaking stopped, Futaba opened her eyes. She was met with a steel gaze.

“A-Akira?” Her voice was hoarse from all the screaming.

“It’s alright, you’re safe.” His voice was calm and Futaba felt reassured to have him next to her. Over the next minutes, her nerves calmed down and she was able to comprehend her environment.

The Phantom Thieves, giving worried stares to her and to each other. She felt bad for making them worry about her. 

“I’m sorry, everyone,” she started, “I don’t know what happened back there. It was a flashback, I think.” Futaba exhaled and kept her gaze away. “I used to have them pretty much every day.”

“It was the despair from the Shadow. It hit you when you were down,” Makoto said. “And, by all means, Futaba, you have nothing to apologize for!”

Queen was cut off by Skull. “If there’s anyone who should be apologizin’, it’s us! We were lost, had no idea what to do until the front line came back. You were just standing and shivering and we didn’t do anything to help ya…”

Futaba escaped from Akira’s embrace, suddenly alarmed. “But where’s the Shadow? There’s no way you could’ve defeated it with your injuries.”

“It escaped after attacking you.” Ann spoke from the back of the crowd. “We didn’t really want to follow it. Besides, your condition is more important!”

Futaba nodded. “How long was I out?”

Yusuke cleared his throat. “I believe…around fifteen minutes?” He looked around quizzically.

The small girl turned to face them. “Thank you for being here for me.”

A small tear escaped from under her goggles. “There was a time when I really believed I was alone. That there was no one that could save me. That it was my fault that nobody wanted me around. 

You already know all that though. You’ve seen my palace and you’ve given me back my life.”

The Thieves’ faces turned into a timid smile each, mimicking Futaba’s feelings of gratitude.

Akira’s hand touched her shoulder, and she turned to hug him.

“Futaba,” he started, calmly, “You aren’t alone anymore.”

“I know.” Futaba sighed deeply. “These things don’t happen anymore. I’m alright.”

As soon as Futaba finished talking, she felt a pair of hands on her shoulder, turning her back. Queen stared into her eyes with her red ones, seemingly seeing Futaba’s thoughts and wishes.

Then, in a quick move, she brought the smaller girl closer to her chest, keeping her in a tight hug. Not long after, Futaba felt herself surrounded by others. 

The Thieves were having a group hug, not only for her, but to remind each other that they would always be there for each other.

In that moment, Futaba knew help had been there for a long time. She was no longer waiting, wandering. There was no need to hide from the outside world. Instead of her old armor, she now wore a new one: her friends’ love for her, and for their friendship.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3


End file.
